Lou Costello Buys a Computer From Bud Abbott

If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their famous sketch, "Who's on First?" may have sounded something like this:

Costello calls a computer store to ask about a computer. Abbot answers the phone.

Abbott: Super Duper Computer Store. Can I help you?

Costello: Yes. I'm setting up an office at home and I'm thinking about buying a computer.

Abbott: Mac?

Costello: No, my name's Lou.

Abbott: Your computer?

Costello: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one

Abbott: Mac?

Costello: I told you, my name's Lou.

Abbott: OK then, what about Windows?

Costello: Why? Will it get stuffy in there?

Abbott: No. But do you want a computer with Windows?

Costello: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?

Abbott: Wallpaper at first.

Costello: Never mind the windows! I need a computer and some software.

Abbott: Software for Windows?

Costello: No! On the computer! I need something I can use to run my business, write proposals and track expenses. What do you have?

Abbott: Office.

Costello: Yeah, for my office. I told you that. Can you recommend anything?

Abbott: I just did.

Costello: You just did what?

Abbott: Recommended something.

Costello: You recommended something?

Abbott: Yes.

Costello: For my office?

Abbott: Yes.

Costello: OK. What did you recommend for my office?

Abbott: Office.

Costello: Yes, for my office!

Abbott: I recommend Office with Windows.

Costello: My office already has windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to write a proposal. What would I need?

Abbott: Word.

Costello: What word?

Abbott: Word in Office.

Costello: The only word in office is office.

Abbott: You need the Word in Office for Windows.

Costello: Which word in office for windows?

Abbott: The Word you get when you click the blue "W."

Costello: I'm going to click your blue "W" if you don't give me some straight answers. What about bookkeeping? Do you have anything I can use to track my money?

Abbott: Sure, Money.

Costello: That's right. What do you have?

Abbott: Money.

Costello: I need money to track my money?

Abbott: Yes, and It comes bundled with your computer.

Costello: What comes bundled with my computer?

Abbott: Money.

Costello: Money comes with my computer?

Abbott: Yes. No extra charge.

Costello: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much do I get?

Abbott: One copy.

Costello: Isn't it illegal to copy money?

Abbott: We got a license from Microsoft to copy Money

.Costello: They can give you a license to copy money?

Abbott: Why not? They own it!

(A few days later)

Abbott: Super Duper Computer Store. Can I help you?

Costello: How do I turn my computer off?

Abbott: Click "START"